Saturday, 27 June 2009

Sorry, Wrong Room 3

I'm soooo sorry guys I've been off the radar. I wanted to write bas seriously school gave me brain drain. IB is so tough it's killin me. Well, good news is its the summer now so inshalla I'll be posting really often. Hope ur still gna read my story (a). Enjoy

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It hurts so much remembering, but I’m addicted to thinking about him, addicted to re-living the moments when I was happy, when we were together. It’s been 3 months since he ended it and I still burst into tears.

Calling Mai
“You know I never got closure”
“Dana it’s been 3 months! You get over your exes in 3 days”
“I was never in love with any of them... But Khalid stole my heart from me and he didn’t even bother keeping it safe, he just threw it away after a year and a half”
"D you don't need another person to make you happy, you're amazing, smart fun and gorgeous... if he doesn't appreciate that then he doesn't deserve you"
"I don't care I want him anyway"
"D - "
"Mai, you know what? I don't feel like talking about it"

I feel guilty for hanging up on her like that, but I didn't want to cry on the phone with her again, she's in a happy place now and she deserves better than a best friend who constantly brings her down. I'm just going to lie here in my misery, pathetic and alone. The way he left me.

July 23rd 2007

It's been 7 months since I've last been here at Kai, and I've given the gorgeous man in front of me a lot more impressions to deal with. Thankfully he seems to like them, or at least he seems tom sitting in front of me on our anniversary with his lazy-boy sideways smile and the single dimple in his left cheek telling me he loves me.
He
loves
me....
He loves ME.
I must be the luckiest girl on the planet because Khaled's a dream. Respectable, kind, smart, funny. Way too good to be true, but here he is, reaching for my hand across the table, staring into my soul. He gets me, it's so freaky it's as if he's come dancing out of a silver screen. That's what this is, movie love. Happily ever after love. So it really is possible, who knew?
I'm not the type of girl who depends on a guy for happiness. Pssshhhht, if anything the guy should be happy he has me. I don't usually date, the whole it's wrong and all that, but also because why should I? I have fun everyday just being myself, by myself, single and sexy. I'm not arrogant, I'm confident, I'm confident in my own skin and noone can tell me to stop loving myself, not the airbrushed perfection sneering at females from the covers of Vogue, nor the latest boy toy chasing me around Harrods. I'm independent, the only love I need is from my family and friends.
And now Khalid. It's so weird... It doesnt feel like loving another person, just another part of me. Like we're meant for eachother. Omg he's leaning to whisper in my ear. Here come the butterflies everyone warned me about.
"Baby..
"Hmm?"
"How 'bout you come back down to earth for a while?"
Damn it, 7 months later and he still makes me blush crimson red, apples on a summer day, hooker red lipstick, red velvet cupcakes, A-list red carpet... you get the point.
"Okay" I mutter with a smile.

We finish dinner and get up to leave.
"So Danty, up for a long walk across London?"
"Throw ice cream into the deal and I'm in"
He starts to chuckle, his laugh makes me melt. Especially when he finds something really funny and laughs from deep down, omg shivers down my spine. It's like a thousand rainbows just paint my world multicolour. Ecstacy.
Suddenly i see a flash of pain in his eyes... He's not smiling anymore.
"7abeebti shrayich in5alee 7ag yom thanee? Wayed ta3ban"
"Babe what's wrong?" Perfect timing. I wonder what's bringing this on so suddenly.
"Wela shay, bs janee 9da3 ghair 6abee3e. Banazlich 3nd halich o barid ilbait ok? Sam7eelee 7abeebty."

Kissing me goodnight, it's bittersweet. Something's off. The movie magic is gone.

***

Pounding on my door startles me out of my reverie.
"D open the damn door!"
As soon as I unlock it in she comes in carrying two huge tubs of Haagen Dazs strawberry cheese cake and belgian chocolate ice cream and a bunch of movies: Moulin Rouge, Pearl Harbour, The Notebook, Armageddon and Breakfast at Tiffany's.
"I'm here for you babe, shutting the phone isn't gonna keep me away. I know you need me, and you don't have to be strong. Since you won't cry in front of me we'll cry together as people die, love, get lost and are found again."

Did I ever mention how much I love Mai? :P

"Mai, I just realized that since like July he kept finishing our nights really early saying he was 'tired' and for like the next year he kept doing that and dissappearing for days and then weeks at a time."
"Tawilnas love. It's probably cos he was cheating that scoundrel."
"LOL Mai who says scoundrel? Seriously I think we've been watching too many old time movies."
"Well babe since the damage is already done what's stopping us from watching more? Yalla forget him, think of Ben Afflick"
"So I guess we're starting with Armageddon then?"
"Or Pearl Harbour, I want a dose of hotties before we get into tearsville"
"Hotties here we come"