I can't seem to find the world of dreams. The Sand Man is running late, or maybe he's forgotten me. As so many minds seem to do.
"It's 2 am!!"
"Malee 5u9, magdar anam"
"Ga3da afakr feeh"
"I thought you were over him already"
"I was... I am... bs madree, relapse I guess"
"You haven't thought of him in ages, what brought this on?"
"Endings. Happy endings. Why did it have to end so badly for me?"
"Reality Check : Nothing has a happy ending, not even Snow White or any of those 'fairy tales'. Take the 'evil' step mother in Snow White, did she get her happy ending? No .. she didn't, why? Simple, she dies in the movie. Ok, she was the bad person, but still it wasn't a happy ending for her, you know?"
"Are you calling me a witch?"
"No, sigh, I'm saying nothing ends happily, not even those Disney fairytales you're so sadly hooked on have a 100% happy ending"
"I know, it's just that I don't want to hear it. I don't want to believe it."
I finally drift off to sleep. I dream of his smile. His eyes. His laugh that comes from deep down when he gets really hyper. The images gain momentum, the sounds and memories build up. Suddenly my subconscious catapults me into the day we first met.
December 20th 2007
Winter holidays, the next best thing after summer. Coats, boots, scarves, beanies, Uggs, gloves. Wind, snow, rain waltzing off umbrellas, trickling down windows, nestling in puddles along the ground. Red lips, fireplaces, snuggling up with loved ones. Ski resorts and spas. Frothy, rich hot chocolate covered in gooey pink and white marshmallows and milk chocolate sprinkles. Foam that lines our upper lips with Santa-like mustaches.
I'm running down the hotel corridor. I have to wake Meera up before her sister wakes up. It's her sister's birthday and we completely forgot, mega last-minute planning to do. I, stupidly, am wearing nothing but an oversized tshirt and fuzzy boots. It's 5 am.
I'm banging on the door of room 112.
"Wake up!!! I know you can hear me! You're gonna be late! Do you want you sister to know we forgot? You know how she holds grudges and birthdays are more important to her than oxygen. Do you want to effectively ruin the rest of the winter holiday for us?"
I hear muffled murmurs and groans from the other side of the door, but no footsteps.
"I swear to God if you don't wake up right now I'll rape you!"
The door swings open and I'm face-to-face with a tall young man with messy black hair, a light coating of facial hair, brown eyes and full lips. He's wearing nothing but a thin white t-shirt -which does nothing to disguise his chiseled abdominal muscles (6-pack!) and broad shoulders- and boxers. His tanned skin emphasizes the muscles that ripple as he holds the door open.
"I'm awake, but if you still feel like raping me go ahead". He utters this cheeky sentence in a rough, sleep-smothered voice, accompanied with a mischeavous grin. He has dimples.
I can't think of anything but "I should have never made fun of those comments on www.fmylife.com.... because this scene is custom-made for it".
Thankfully I dont say that out loud.
I say somehting worse.
"Oh. Um. I can't"
He laughs and then asks "Why not?"
My mind is frantically trying to assemble a sentence that is at least half way sane.
My face, already flaming the crimson red of apples on a summer day, is practically giving off heat waves. What do I do? My words are failing me. Shda5al late? OMG I cannot believe this is happening.
"You do realize it's 5 am?"
"Thus my confused state"
"I see. So I'm to assume you're not always this confused?"
"Usually just mornings and first impressions" Damn it! Is now the time for my flaws to come out? I can't help being this truthful, 'tell the truth' is a mantra my parents have instilled in me. Forced upon me.
"It's a good thing I don't hold people to their first impressions"
"Well, sorry to have been threatening you at 5 in the morning"
"I forgive you, they were quite thrilling threats after all. Not many guys wake up to girls offering them rape"
I vow to myself that I will never use the phrase 'I will rape you' to express anger again, ever, in my life.
"Consider yourself lucky." I turn and go to look for room 121, what I now remember is my cousin's room.
"One thing before you leave."
I look at him questioningly (using this opportunity to drink in the image of this beautiful boy once more).